Walking down the aisle is a moment filled with joy, love, and the promise of a future together. But before you say “I do,” there are several important conversations and steps every couple should consider. Marriage is more than just a celebration—it’s the merging of lives, finances, dreams, and sometimes, even challenges. Taking the time to plan and communicate before your wedding day will help set a solid foundation for the future.

Here are 9 Essential Conversations for Newly Engaged Couples to have before saying “I do.”

1. Meet with a Financial Advisor

Money is one of the leading causes of stress in relationships, so it’s important to get on the same page early. A financial advisor can help you both understand your financial situations—whether it’s debt, savings, or investments—and guide you through creating a plan for shared expenses and long-term goals. Do you have student loans? What about credit card debt? Will you combine finances or keep things separate? Discussing these topics openly will help avoid surprises down the road and allow you to plan for big life goals like purchasing a home, starting a family, or building a business together.

2. Have the Hard Talk: Prenuptial Agreements

Let’s be honest—bringing up the idea of a prenuptial agreement can be uncomfortable. But it’s essential to approach this conversation openly. A prenup is not just for those with significant assets; it’s a legal tool that can protect both partners, outline how assets will be divided, and provide clarity. Meeting with a lawyer allows you to fully understand your options and make informed decisions together. While it may feel awkward to discuss, having this conversation can remove ambiguity and ensure that both parties feel protected and respected.

3. Plan for the Future: Wills, Trusts, and Power of Attorney

Marriage means planning for the long term, and that includes preparing for the unexpected. Meeting with a lawyer to create a will and designate a power of attorney can ensure that your wishes are carried out if something happens to you. Consider whether setting up a trust makes sense for your assets. Having these legal safeguards in place is crucial, especially when you begin building a life and possibly a family together. It may not be the most romantic conversation, but it’s one of the most loving acts you can do to protect each other.

4. Seek Counseling: Meet with a Therapist

It’s always a great idea to seek guidance from a therapist—not just when things are tough, but when they’re going well. Pre-marital counseling can provide tips and tricks to navigate life when it gets tricky and help you build a stronger, more resilient relationship. Address communication styles, conflict resolution, and any lingering concerns. This is a proactive way to ensure you both feel heard, understood, and supported as you start your journey together.

5. Discuss Religion and Spirituality

If faith and spirituality play a role in your lives, meeting with a spiritual leader to discuss how religion will influence your relationship is a must. Will you practice your faith together? How will it shape your values as a couple and a family? If you plan to have children, what role will religion play in their upbringing? These discussions can strengthen your connection and provide a shared understanding of how you want your spiritual lives to grow.

6. Family Planning: How Do You See Your Future?

Before you get married, it’s important to discuss your vision for building a family. How many children do you want, if any? How do you plan to raise them? These are crucial topics that shouldn’t wait until after the wedding. It’s also wise to discuss the logistics of family planning, including potential fertility treatments, adoption, and parenting styles. Being clear about your expectations will help you both feel aligned as you plan for this new chapter in your lives.

7. Think About Where You Want to Live

Location matters! Where you choose to live as a couple impacts your careers, finances, and overall happiness. Do you plan to stay in the city or move to the suburbs? How about relocating to be closer to family or for work? Discussing these long-term plans will help ensure you’re both on the same page when it comes to building your life together.

8. Take Time to Talk About Roles and Responsibilities

Marriage often involves navigating new roles, from household responsibilities to who takes the lead in financial decisions. Will one of you take on more of the domestic duties while the other focuses on career advancement? Will you divide everything equally? Having an honest conversation about how you envision these roles will prevent unnecessary friction and help you build a partnership based on mutual respect and understanding.

9. Plan for the Unexpected

Life is full of surprises, and while you can’t plan for everything, you can prepare for how you’ll handle unforeseen challenges. Create an emergency plan for health or financial crises. How will you support each other if one of you loses a job, or if a family member falls ill? Knowing that you have a plan can give you both peace of mind and strengthen your bond.

Final Thoughts

Marriage is one of the most significant commitments you’ll ever make. While planning for the big day is exciting, it’s essential to invest time in planning for the life you’ll share afterward. From finances to family planning, every discussion you have before saying “I do” brings you closer together and ensures a stronger foundation for your marriage. These conversations may be tough, but they’re necessary for building a successful, loving, and enduring partnership.

So, before you walk down the aisle, take the time to check off these essential to-dos and start your marriage on the right foot.

What else would you add to the list? Let us know in the comments below!